The One You Need

[lunaropal]

Okay, I sincerely apologize for how OOC this probably is. It is my first fic EVER. I've written personal things like...three years ago, but in terms of taking characters already made and creating something, I'm a virgin. Till now. So...here is to popping my fan-fic-writing cherry.


Title: The One You Need
Author: LunarOpal
Rating: NC-17?
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Warning(s): Sex, OOC-ness probably, sappy stuff...yeah.
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I could keep these two all to myself and do what I wanted with them...I own nothing. Not even a poster.

Author's Note: Just again, warning you...this is my first time. I'm sorry, but give me feedback! Good or bad, I don't care. Oh! And this wasn't beta-ed or anything so...yeah. Prompt from community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink/

The termination of their sexual relationship had not come as a surprise to Spock. At the beginning of their acquaintance, Uhura had at first been someone that Spock had felt comfortable enough to entrust in her his emotions – or at least those which he was willing to permit himself to express. Logically, he knew that their relationship might have progressed from one of companionship to one comprising of more sexual aspects, and it had. He had enjoyed their intimacy, as it allowed him a safe haven in which he could release his more human side. Despite this, if he allowed himself to acknowledge his feelings on the matter, Spock had known that their relationship would not be one which either of them would be able to commit to.

 

Although it may have been earlier, Spock knew that by the time he had been appointed as acting captain of the USS Enterprise, their relationship began to diminish. Uhura had been a comfort for him, uttering soothing words to him throughout the events with Nero and the destruction of his home planet. She had offered him a willing body for him to express himself with words – which he did less and less often – and with actions. Though their sexual activities never relieved him of any of the distress that he so needed to rid himself of. Rather than comforting him, and helping him to heal, their coupling only caused the tightness in his body to increase.

 

It was when Spock lost control of himself, throwing Kirk around the bridge with effortless power, that he felt himself beginning to feel…relieved. Posed over the other man, his fingers grasping tightly at Kirk’s throat, depriving him of the air necessary to remain alive, Spock allowed himself to really <i>feel</i>. His rage, his grief, his confusion. Everything he felt was finally escaping him, just as the last of Kirk’s breath was beginning to escape him. It was not his father’s voice that caused him to let go of the other man. It was rather the recognition, somewhere within him, that he had found something…someone…who may have been able to help him. Whom he had almost killed.

 

Spock had pushed this knowledge deep within him, so that even he could not decipher how important the new captain of the USS Enterprise was – or could be – to him. Yet despite this denial, Uhura had been able to see straight through him. She had been able and willing to see what he had not.

 

“We were never really more than a comfortable body to one another, were we?” She had asked him one night after a rather unsatisfying coupling. His silence had answered her question. With a chaste kiss and a soft smile, Uhura had looked into his eyes with an unnerving, knowing glint, “I was never what you needed, Spock. As much as I may not like it…who you need is right in front of you, so long as you stop hiding from it.”

 

A few weeks had passed since Uhura had spoken those words to him. Sitting in his quarters, Spock considered again what, precisely, she meant. Although a part of him, which had been buried too deep for him to unearth immediately, understood what she had meant, he was trying to think logically – which was proving to be more frustrating than helpful. In the midst of his meditation, Spock heard a sudden, insistant knocking at his door. Before he could answer, there was a murmuring outside of his quarters before the door opened. Without opening his eyes, Spock recognized the footsteps of the man who entered, the confident stagger that preceded the closing of his quarter’s door.

 

“Captain,” Spock acknowledged, his shoulders tensing without his intention. He took in one last, deep breath before opening his eyes to see Kirk standing directly in front of him, his hands at his side and his hips cocked slightly to the left. A vast array of emotions were displayed among the man’s features, though Spock recognized concern as one of the more prominent, “May I ask as to what has brought you to my quarters? I have finished all of my duties and do not believe that there is anything of dire need that I attend to.”

 

“For God’s sake, Spock, call me Jim. I’m not here as your captain I’m here as…as your friend,” Kirk replied, furrowing his brows and running a hand through his already messy hair. Spock pondered if the man’s hair ever behaved or if it always looked so disordered before returning his attention to his superior officer.

 

“I assume you were interested in pursuing a game of chess, then?” Spock questioned, placing his hands on either side of his body and raising himself to a standing position, “I shall go get my—“

 

“I’m not here for that, either,” Kirk said, “Listen, Spock…we’ve become friends over the last few months and while you know I have not restrained myself from asking about your relationship with Uhura in the past…,” a small smirk graced his lips at that. Ever since discovering that the two officers were indeed in some form of a relationship, Kirk had taken every opportunity possible to tease, question, and even flirt with both members of the couple, “I have tried not to do so recently.”

 

Spock nodded his head in polite acknowledgement, “I have noticed your resistance to speak of the matter as of recent events, yes. However, your concern – as logically that is why you are here, I presume – is misplaced. Lieutenant Uhura and I have been working amiably and my performance has not been altered in place of our ending relationship, nor has her own.”

 

“Not outwardly, no,” Kirk countered, tilting his head and looking at Spock in a way that made him feel uncomfortable and almost nervous. The man’s eyes pierced into his own with such a force that Spock’s lips parted and a gasp almost escaped from him. “You’ve been distant, though. Tense. In front of me, in particular. Don’t try to deny it. Whether you have decided to realize it or not, <i>something</i> is wrong.”

 

Spock’s eyes narrowed as his fists clenched by his side. He did not understand how Kirk  could so blatantly see or believe that something was wrong with him. That there were so many feelings and emotions that Spock refused to acknowledge within himself, curling in on itself and ever-so-slowly tearing him apart. They were an ever present part of Spock that he could not fully ignore, which made themselves known particularly in the presence of his captain. They wrapped tightly around his heart, making himself feel as if his heart was pumping too fast, too hard, too everything. As if he could not breathe, could not think, could not do anything <i>logical</i> so long as Kirk was near him.

 

Trying to suppress the…thing…that was within him was taking a toll on Spock, though he would not acknowledge that anymore than he would acknowledge the emotions that were running rampantly throughout his body. The fact that Kirk could so easily see through the shield that Spock had maintained around himself was aggravating, frustrating, and it was already starting to strike away at the wall that Spock had unknowingly built.

 

“There is nothing to discuss of this matter,” Spock stated, his voice a tone lower than normal. He could see that Kirk recognized this change in tone, could see it as the beginnings of loss of control, “I have been performing amiably and nothing has been compromised by the circumstances,” He continued, almost as if he were more trying to convince himself than Kirk.

 

“Spock, please,” Kirk started, taking a step towards the Vulcan as he spoke, “Something has happened that you are not dealing with, and even if it isn’t affecting the crew, it is affecting you. And me. What is it?” Kirk gently placed a hand on Spock’s arm and, before Spock could process what he was doing, he let out a low growl and pinned Kirk against the nearest wall. Their faces were mere inches apart from what another. Spock could feel Kirk’s breath mingling with his own, could smell his scent, could feel the toned muscles moving underneath his hands. It was intoxicating.

 

“As I said before,” Spock growled, “This is nothing that I cannot handle. My history with the female species has never been one of long-lasting commitment and I shall deal with it as I previously had. I do want nor need your concerned words, and I…” Spock began to falter slightly, a small crease making itself present between his brows as he looked into Kirk’s eyes. The man was still staring at him with such intensity, despite his current position. Spock’s gaze flickered only briefly from the blue orbits directly in front of him to the plump lips just below, and back up.

 

Spock was startled to realize that in only that briefest of moments, the concern which was the primary display in Kirk’s gaze was no longer as prominent. Instead, there was knowing and, as Kirk’s pupils dilated surprisingly rapidly, Spock almost thought he saw…lust?

 

“What do you need, Spock?” Kirk questioned gently, his fingers grasping out until the clutched at the hem of Spock’s shirt, resting at his hip in a way that made it difficult for Spock to think. His eyes fluttered downward so that he was staring at the space between their bodies.  “Or…<i>who</i> do you need…?”

 

Immediately, Spock’s gaze flickered back to meet Kirk’s. Though he tried desperately to control his emotions, to hide any feelings he may have, Spock knew that his eyes betrayed him with just the slightest reflection of his thoughts. And Kirk knew it. The Captain was offering him smile, his eyes shining with something that Spock could not distinguish. Slowly…so slowly…Kirk strained his head forward until his lips barely brushed against Spock’s own. It was not more than breath ghosting across his mouth, but even this simplest of actions caused Spock to release a huff of air he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. Hesitating for only a moment, Spock felt as if the tightness in his body, around his heart, was suddenly released. Instead, a newfound tension wrapped itself within him. Want. <i>Need.</i>

 

Spock let out a groan as his hands  let go of their hold on Kirk’s body, sliding down instead to rest on the other man’s hips. He could feel Kirk’s smile against his lips before Spock was being pushed backwards until his knees connected with his bed, and both men tumbled down onto it. Their legs were sprawled together, arms lightly grasping each other yet at the same time holding on so tightly, as if they were afraid they may lose the other. They were both breathing rapidly, though Kirk more so than the Vulcan, their rushed attempts for air mingling together as their mouths moved together, tongues dueling in a soft battle.

 

Kirk’s fingers drew light circles on Spock’s hip as he pulled Spock’s lower lip into his mouth, sucking lightly. A low moan escaped Spock’s mouth of its own accord as Kirk began to move downwards, placing open-mouthed kisses along Spock’s jaw line and neck. Cool hands – which reverberated a sort of heat Spock could not explain – pushed underneath his shirt, slowly raising it up his body. Lifting his head to catch Kirk’s gaze, Spock paused in awe at what he saw. The man’s pupils were blown with just a hint of the bright blue iris bordering them, lust consuming the orbits in the midst of that <i>something</i> Spock could not – or would not – identify. The captain’s lips were swollen, his face flushed a light pink, as he crawled back up Spock’s body, bringing his shirt with him until it was pulled over his head. Spock’s own hands crept under Kirk’s shirt, tracing the muscles that quivered at the touch, before removing the other man of his shirt as well. With only their labored breathing and quiet <i>wants</i> and <i>needs</i> filling the room, they held each other’s gaze as each lifted their hips off of the bed to rid themselves of their pants.

 

Kirk lowered himself back onto Spock’s body. Both men let out a harsh rush of breath as their skin made contact, their erections settling together and creating a friction that Spock could not have possibly imagined. Kirk pressed light kisses along his jaw line, leading to Spock’s ear, before running his tongue along its outline. He briefly sucked at the pointed tip before whispering in a hoarse tone, “Have you found what you needed?”

 

Spock groaned, thrusting his hips upward and twisting them, pushing against Kirk’s erection. The other man let out a gasp followed by a low chuckle. Whether or not Spock had intended it, Kirk knew exactly what Spock both wanted and needed as he pivoted their hips together. Kirk’s fingers danced across Spock’s body, followed by his mouth as he licked and sucked at the green-flushed skin, creating such extraordinary sensations that Spock could not help but arch into the touch. Spock’s own fingers traced patterns on the captain’s shoulders before tangling themselves in the messy hair.

 

Lower and lower Kirk went until his head was resting at Spock’s pelvis. Spock felt sharp teeth suddenly dig into the soft flesh where his hip and leg met, followed by a soothing sucking motion that caused the Vulcan to let out a sound which he would later deny was a mewl. He could feel Kirk’s lips curl into a smile at the sound before the man’s eyes arose to look at Spock. One corner of the man’s mouth turned upwards into a smirk, a promise, before he lowered his lips to Spock’s erection, sucking at the tip and swirling his tongue around the head. Spock moaned loudly, his head tilting backwards, body arching off of the bed as he was assaulted by the pleasure of the simple act. Kirk wrapped his hand around the base of Spock’s cock, two fingers running along the shaft as Kirk engulfed not only those fingers but also the bulk of Spock’s erection.

 

Kirk soon lifted himself from Spock’s body, letting go of the hard cock with a wet “pop”. Before Spock could even contemplate what the other man was doing, he felt a finger pressing against him. After a moment of resistance, Spock’s body opened for Kirk and he slid his wet finger inside, stretching the Vulcan. Spock furrowed his brows at the sensation. There was discomfort which he found was, illogically, also pleasurable. Becoming accustomed to the new presence, Spock relaxed his body and found that Kirk’s finger was pulled even further within him. A second finger was soon added, scissoring and stretching his body that made Spock squirm, pressing himself down onto the warm hand. He could hear soft, insistent, almost <i>needy</i> gasps filling the room, and was startled to realize that they were coming from him.

 

When Kirk removed his fingers, Spock grasped tightly at the man’s shoulders. He suddenly felt very empty, and desperately wanted that sense of fullness back. Kirk slinked up Spock’s body, pressing a soft yet urgent kiss that held so much promise it made Spock shiver, before Spock felt another pressure against him. Kirk pulled away from the kiss and gazed deeply into Spock’s eyes. Their eyes locked and remained so as Kirk pushed his own hard erection into Spock’s body. The pain was more pronounced than before, yet as Spock looked up at Kirk it did not seem so bad. He was lost in the other man, despite how illogical it was. However, as his legs wrapped around Kirk’s legs, pulling him <i>closer</i> and <i>tighter</i> and <i>there</i>, as his hands swept up the captain’s back before scratching downward as Spock arched his back in the sheer pleasure of it all, he did not bother to think about logic. After all, it would be, in this instance, illogical to do so.

 

Kirk started to move within him, his thrusts slow and measured, touching everything and not enough at the same time. Spock’s body was on fire, his fingers dancing across the other man’s body so swiftly in any attempt to let him know that he needed more, harder, softer, there, right there, yes, yes, <i>yes!</i> Kirk’s head was bowed, resting in the curve of Spock’s neck, his breath ghosting across the Vulcan’s flushed skin in rhythm with ever thrust and pull.

 

As Spock brought a hand towards Kirk’s head, resting it gently at the nape of his neck, he could feel the stirrings of the man’s mind beneath his fingertips. Both men groaned at the hint of what was there, what the both felt. Lifting his head, Kirk bit gently on Spock’s earlobe, suckling on it for a moment, before whispering, “Do it.”

 

Then they were both separate and together, their minds twisting around each other, aching for more, just as their bodies were. The heat and tightness, the pleasure within the meld, reflecting both the joined minds and bodies, was more intimate, more physical, more <i>everything</i> than either had felt. Spock could not tell where he ended and Kirk began – or was it the other way? He had never felt this way with anyone before, and in the midst of the meld and their coupling, Spock could sense so many new and familiar things. What he had seen in Kirk’s eyes was shining through without hesitation in his mind, though Spock did not know if it was coming from Kirk or himself. A sudden rush of warmth, of ultimate pleasure and intimacy, enveloped the both of them, lifting them up. It was as if they were in their own galaxy, as if they were the sun, shining brightly and so hot and warm. Spock did not know whose climax it was, but the other followed quickly after, heightening the sensations within the meld.

 

Just as suddenly as they had both been lifted up, they drifted down. Slowly, softly, being enveloped in an entirely different feeling as they lay in the afterglow. Their minds were still conjoined, languidly performing their own coupling, speaking to the other in a sort of calm. Spock could sense the contentment of them both, the…love…that he had never before felt with any of his other partners. A jubilant laughter and smile wrapped them both in the ending of the meld, and Spock did not know from who it came.

 

Hesitantly, Spock pulled his fingers away, instead moving them to rest on Kirk’s lower back as they lay together, their breathing returning to normal. The afterglow was unlike any other that Spock had experienced. It offered him so much more than the mere sex that had occurred. It offered him a promise. Whatever he needed – desperate <i>here-now-there-harder-yes!</i> and soothing <i>need-there…yes…mmm…please</i> and so much more.

 

“You,” Spock whispered, “I need you.”